• cressida fitzsimons

10 MORE things you probably don’t know about me...

Another hideous list of all those things that no one knows, and no one cares to know, Cressida?!

Yes, aggrieved reader! Another loquacious lexicon giving you the ‘low down’ on the lyrical ladykin behind Kent Buns ‘N’ Guns!


What was that? Why you ask? Why, I have three reasons imaginary interested party…

  • I haven’t written since November and fear I have lost the ability to string words into what, you call, a sen-te-enss?

  • I know the topic of ‘Me’ well and in grizzly detail so this post shouldn’t take long to research, write or share.

(Insert, Gif of Emilio “I am very sneaky” from Adam Sandler’s, ‘Mr Deeds’ here. If you don’t recognise this, feel shame & follow it with a medical prescription of a Sandler Marathon)

  • Maybe once again, you’ll read this and say, “Hey this woman is interesting – I want to train with her!” Maybe...

If you missed the first egomaniacal edition of this, you can check it out here.

With that said, go forth and enjoy the countless awful photos that follow...

  1. I’m a Crazy Cat Lady

I would argue however, looking at the evidence, it is clear that actually my cats are 'Crazy Cressida Kitty's' and my role in the relationship has been grossly overstated. With that cleared up, you can follow my cats on their Instagram here or have a longer break during sets by asking me how they are. I promise extensive updates!

2. I was a bit of a Grunga as a Teenager

Or at least, I kind of was. I really, really wanted to be. Mum however, had other ideas and this was about as far as I got...

Also check out those stylish glasses.... #stillgotit.

3. I’ve been with my other half since we were 16

Weren't we adorable! Picture 1 shows our first date. We went to Greenwich Park and then Ryan took me back to meet his whole family at his grandparents retirement party. Poor sod has been stuck with me ever since...

4. I used to be a size 16

I've hunted through a zillion photos to find evidence of this but I must have hidden from the camera A LOT around this period. Also, it was back when you didn't put photos online so I'd have to hunt through mum and dads photo records. Nonetheless I distinctly remember hitting this size because on the first day of wearing a new pair of size 16 jeans (which I really liked) a friend of mine asking if I was wearing a pair of Ryan's jeans. They fit perfectly and I never forgot it.

I also never forgot what 'boyfriend jean' used to mean, man I just want a good relaxed pair of hipster boyfriend jeans or flares? I can not be alone in this? Right??

Ps. I also had boobs around this time. It was the only time I've ever had the mystical Danny Devitos. I lost them after that, to be replaced with Iced Gems and never were the Chips and Dips seen again. Maybe they are under the sofa with all the other lost things?

5. I have 3 siblings

Here we are, the full motley crew: Cressida, Callum, Chiara-Rose & Caoimhe. My parents love to choke on the 'curly c' sound and so naturally chose to name each of their children with that phonetic play in mind. They also wanted to ensure no one could ever use phonics when spelling some of our names. Oh the depravity....

6. I was bullied as a teenager

Oddly enough, didn't take a picture of these incidences. More oddly perhaps was the fact that picture phones weren't around at the time and when they were - they were only useful for playing 'Snake.' Needless to say, it was shit, there's not enough money in the world that would convince me to be a teenager again and the standard 'I'm stronger for it' sign off...

7. I love drawing & reading & writing

YAS! These activities are my life force and who I am deep down inside. Always. Having said that, I can be very lazy about feeding my life force...so...

You can check out my lame arse soul fertiliser here. And if you're every lost on what to get me for Christmas, a note pad and any of Brandon Sanderson's books will suffice.

8. I’m a fully qualified teacher

I say this because it's been two years since I left the profession now so it's got to be old news, right?! I taught History to Years 8 & 9 and Citizenship to Year 11 in Secondary School and Years 2, 3, 4 throughout my time in Primary. Before that, I was an ASD Coordinator in a school. Funniest experience in the profession? Tucking the back of my skirt into my tights only to be told by a colleague 5 devastatingly long minutes later of my error.

9. I watch Rick & Morty every night

Literally obsessed. I also listen to the Spotify Playlist A LOT. If you don't watch it, you need to and if you think it's stupid.... "Sis Sempur Calumnium"....Mic Drop...

10. I love building/ simulation games

Zoo Tycoon, Theme Park, Theme Hospital... I could play these continuously dawn til WAY past dusk. Which means I don't play them often because I know I need to dedicate an entire weekend to their completion. I've only recently started playing Theme Hospital again as my last bout of playing doctor-itis ended with my hospital being closed down as one of the Doctors was caught with porn in the bathroom... Needless to say, I was fuming...

And that's it folks! Until next time...

Peace Out!


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